Corporate Poetry

It seems like whatever joy or enrichment that can be felt viewing most advertisements is not worth their mind numbing inanity. Something about consuming content that treats the world like an impulsive baby leaves me feeling a little... dumber. Such as are my beliefs, on the off chance I come across a commercial that makes me laugh or think, it's a pleasant surprise.

The commercial I present to you here is for Taiwan's most popular liquor (Gao Liang). It (the ad) speaks for itself, so I'll spare you any more introduction:

(forgive my novice translation)

When you want to pick up a beautiful woman

it's like you're drinking Gao Liang.

Your first thought is

don't be silly, you won't succeed.

Don't be silly, you'll be drunk.

Don't be silly, you'll be turned down.

Don't be silly, you have work tomorrow.

But if

your whole life you only go for the sure things,

how can you know

what you're capable of?

Snackies

I am ready. I'm more than ready; I feel as though it is I who is about to let the dogs out. I feel a yearning to create that only comes from having just spent an entire month chillaxing. That's right, I recently joined the ranks of the world's globetrotters, playboys, and those generally above working year-round. I picked up and headed on a whirlwind tour of South Korea, Atlanta and Colorado to perform a focused exercise of my freedom. So here I am, back in the real world, with a sled dog's share of pent-up work, and just guilty enough a conscience to do it.

My first order of business was school work, then came my job, then taking care of my plants, and now I find myself blessed with the unique fortune of punching in to work for you, if there are any of you left after my shameful, henceforth-not-to-be-mentioned hiatus. The particular inspiration that brought me here to officially reopen for blogging business was, predictably, a culinary one. You'll be pleased to learn that unlike many of the delights of Chinese cuisine that I'm so fond of relating, the ingredients of today's grub are easily procured from the local supermarket. "But wait! He's going to teach us to cook something. Who wants to learn how to cook something?" you're surely saying to yourself. Here's the best part though - today's tasty treat is so easy to make it doesn't even qualify as a recipe! (I think. Actually, I'm kind of afraid that the cooking authorities are going to chastise me for being wrong about my definition of the word "recipe" now.)

Fair warning: the dish I am so excited to share with you is in fact, like everything I make, completely made-up, experimental, and fairly described by any word that is cooking code for "bad". All I can say to that is hear me out.

Spicy Tofu Bombs

Ingredients (see addendum):
2 8"x10" sheets of nori, or the equivalent amount of smaller sheets
1/2 block of firm tofu
1 cup uncooked white rice
spicy sauce/paste (sriracha, etc.)

Feeds 2 (used as a side dish)

Step 1: Cook the rice (don't be afraid to read the back of the box if that sounds impossible)

(Skip step 2 if your pieces of nori are about 3"x4" or smaller)

Step 2: Lay the 2 sheets of nori on top of each other and cut them so you end up with 12 smaller nori rectangles. In case you didn't know, nori is that seaweed stuff people use for making sushi:
Your pieces of nori after step 2 will be somewhere around 3"x4" if my math is right.

Step 3: Rinse your tofu and cut it into 1" x 1/2" x 2" slices or thereabouts.

Step 4: Get the tofu, spicy sauce and nori laid out on the table. Put single servings of rice into bowls on the table. It probably just occurred to you that this dish includes uncooked tofu. Trust me, it's not bad.

Step 5: OK - be patient with the eating directions because I just ate mine and there's nothing left to take pictures of. Start by putting a piece of tofu on the middle of your rice. Then, hit the tofu with a dab of spicy paste. Next, lay a piece of nori on top and use it to scoop the paste, tofu and some rice into your face. Ignoring what this guy is scooping, it looks like this after you've got the tofu slice and spicy paste in position.
Note that it's actually easy to use chopsticks for this step with some practice, my google search just happened to return a white guy who's down with finger food. Repeat step 5 until any or all of the ingredients runs out.

Addendum
This protorecipe wouldn't be complete without clarifying a couple of points. First, this dish is much better if you can get your hands on the Korean nori (called "kim" in Korean). It's saltier, and fried instead of baked. I wish I knew more about how to procure this in the states, but if you just can't get your hands on kim, I believe its still worth it to make this with plain nori. Maybe just cook your rice with a little butter to compensate.
Second, I was intentionally vague about the spicy sauce. Sriracha (a Thai sauce for chicken) is one example. Each Asian country has their own variant. It should be on the thick side, that's why I called for sauce/ paste. There should be some options in even the most White Bread supermarket's Asian section, just choose what sounds appealing.
Eating variations of white rice with nori is one of the first snacks that was introduced to me in Taiwan and it's really found a place in my food heart. If the tofu sounds nast, replace it with a fried egg or peanuts or pieces of cooked tofu or pork. Experiment and let me know what's good. Happy snacking.

The Lunchbox

I forget what the Chinese word for this is, and so would you, so let's just use the standard translation "lunchbox."

This is a lunchbox. Lunchboxes are the most common form of take out in Taiwan and the small restaurants that provide them quickly and cheaply are EVERYWHERE. I can never over-emphasize the mind-boggling number of small restaurants here. And when I say cheap I mean $1.50 - $2 cheap. $2 for a duck dinner! As you can see by comparing it to the chopsticks, that box is big! And what does it contain? My 3 choices of side vegetable: dark leafy greens, cabbage/ carrots, and bamboo. In the spotlight is a big piece of roasted duck on a generous bed of rice.
People line up at this guy's restaurant every lunch and dinner rush. I mean they form a long line, but it moves fast. I guess his duck is semi-famous or at least neighborhood-famous. The funny thing about Taiwan is that due to this glorious tradition of great cheap food, fast food restaurants serve a completely different service here than in the West. For example, I got in and out of this guy's shop just as fast as I would a McDonald's, but the food at McDonald's costs twice as much. So why do people go to McDonald's then? Because the seating is ample and there is no pressure to leave when you are done eating. For this reason KFCs, Burger Kings and McDonald's in Taiwan are mostly populated by high school students just hanging out or studying. (MosBurger is the same. It's a fast food chain from Japan that actually has high-quality food, believe it or not.) McDonald's even plays classical music! That cracked me up the first time I went inside one.
So there you have it - the lunchbox. The original fast food: healthier, cheaper and better tasting than the competition. Interesting trivia: since Asia does not have the oven tradition of the West, the is a single Chinese word that can mean any of the following: grilled, broiled, roasted, baked, etc.

Yum!

Rather than regaling you with another tale of a fine Asian dining experience, today I will show you what a great ambassador I am for Western cuisine. This picture was taken at a cook out that John and I threw last month. We (mostly John) bought a slab of pork, marinated it, and made many, many kabobs using an assortment of veggies. Granted, the Taiwanese style of grilling out one ups the American tradition in terms of sheer volume consumed - these things are basically 2 to 3 hours of straight eating. They also have us beat in the fuel dept: all Taiwanese use the Webber style grill and they ONLY use "natural" charcoal. You cannot buy briquettes in Taiwan.

However, I believe American style grilling wins by virtue of the simple fact that we grill more than just meat. In Taiwan, grilling out is very popular, but the whole experience is just eating one kind of meat after another. Our party was good fun, and Jake got everyone to play a very fun Panamanian game in which two people race lemons across the ground using a second lemon that hangs from your belt inside a stocking.

So besides showing our Korean, Japanese and Taiwanese friends what American grilling (well, American with middle eastern influence I guess) is all about, we had fun identifying what type of food my burned toast qualified as. My Korean friend Kuai Fan saw me take it off the grill and asked me if this was "American style toast". So now we have the ongoing joke of MeiGuoTooSuh ie: American Toast. Yum!

Kending Part Deaux

OK, I am new to sharing pictures online, but I plan to store all my photos (not just the ones that make the New Sky cut) at http://picasaweb.google.com/lonhig

So Saturday morning after the bikes were rented and we somehow reached the top of the mountain, we arrived at a forested park with a relatively small network of trails. What the trails lacked in length, however, they amply made up for in beauty and diversity. There were huge rocks everywhere that looked pitted, as if they'd spent part of their lives under the sea. Parts of the trail went under the rocks through short caves and crevices. The highlights of the hike were the vistas of the hills with the sea in the background.

This was on one of our "stick your head in a creek" breaks before we reached the top. I don't know what kind of trees these were, but all the vine-looking things are actually hanging roots. It's like the land was snatched away from under the trees.

There was a nice ocean breeze and plenty of views along the hike.

OK, it was more like ocean wind in some places :)

This guy was ready for his close up.


We found some good vines for swinging.

Next, after eating very big bowls of noodle soup, we flew down the mountain on our bikes and went to one of the beaches. Over Saturday and Sunday we actually went to three beaches and one pool. The first beach had an "international" surfing competition going on, but it was kind of sad because the waves were weak that day. At least they were projecting good music from their tent. I am now going to mess up the chronology of this tale so as to consolidate the beach pictures:

This is from one of the hotels we pretended to be guests at. It was beautiful, but we left because you couldn't swim in the ocean without a life vest. (?!) I am doing my best to hide my mouthful of food.

Nicole sporting one of the beach toys I brought.

This was the most beautiful beach we went to. The name translates to "White Sand Beach". The waves were just big enough to body surf and some of the rocks were out in the water for me to dive off of. And before you think I'm really stupid enough to dive into the shallow sea, let me inform you that the water was soooo clear! If you've been to the Gulf, it was just like their water - it was turquoise-colored, but I could look down to the bottom through 1.5 meters of it. This beach is out of the way too, so it was really uncrowded.

You can thank my parents for putting it in my head that I should take pictures like this one ;)

Besides chilling on the beaches, we also pretended to be guests at a very nice resort hotel. It had a nice outdoor pool with comfortable chairs and ample plant life.

The hotel's pool get's my official stamp of approval. It was big and relaxing. Too bad it wasn't $3 a night, though places like this start at only $70 I hear, and this hotel also had a private beach. The food, etc. was all surprisingly cheap in Kending, considering it's the resort town in Taiwan.

We ate at Sushi Express Saturday night. I had raw scallops for the first time! I can now say I love scallops prepared any way!

This is a fish market in a nearby fishing village. The stands will cook your purchase for you if you want. Do I look tired and hungry? Like I've been at the beach all day? It's OK, I had this to look forward to:

Big ol' crabs, clams, some kind of mountain vegetable, and rice. Oh yea, and Taiwan Pi Jio ("Taiwan Beer" brand beer). I still dream about that crab...

The Night Market

There are several night markets in Tainan, and each has its own night of the week. So on Friday there is only one market open, on Saturday there's a different on open, etc. This one is called Flower Garden and it is the biggest in Tainan. It's open on Thursday and Saturday.

I'm not sure when thing heat up at the night markets, put most people leave by 12:30 or 1. Also, the patrons and vendors all bail at the first sign of rain, so you have to go on a dry night. The setup is farmiliar to any convention-goer, each vendor has a stall and they are arranged in long rows. The night market is basically organized into 3 zones: carnival games, food and merchandise. They take up about 25%, 35% and 40% of the real estate respectively. There is a left side entrance that puts you in the games and a right side entrance that puts you in the food.

This is only a percentage of the vast sea of scooters that welcomes you to Flower Garden.

This is Mei Ba Guai. She has a small stall at each of Tainan's night markets dedicated to decorating scooter helmets. She will draw on your shoes, glasses and face mask too - and apparently your water bottle! Here are some cool designs she did for other people:

Here is one of the sticker stalls. It is the smaller of the two. On the left you can see the proprietor politely gesturing for me to not take pictures. Duei bu chi! As far as the nazi sticker in the middle - everyone I ask tells me that people really don't know what it means and just confuse it with the similar-looking Buddhist symbol. Not sure what to think - the only nazi symbol I've seen on the street so far is that same sticker on a really old dude's scooter helmet. My friend John said the same thing as everyone else when I asked him about it - no one knows what it means, old dude included. Hmm.

There are a few of these stalls and they seem to specialize in incense, humidifiers, and glowing fountains.

This stuff reminds me of a cool cat I saw in a tea shop that in turn reminds me of Cait Sith!

Hats, shirts.

Fresh fruit in the back - dinnerstuff in the front. I really dropped the ball on taking pictures of the food here. Night market food is GOOD and PLENTIFUL! The food is what the night markets are most famous for. This is where I tried stinky tofu (that's a literal translation, and yes, you can smell stinky tofu stands from a block away. It tastes so good though!), spicy fish "eggs" (actually fish meatballs), fried sweet potato puffs, and some dish that is kind of like an omlette made with oysters, lettuce and a little cream - topped with a sweet and sour sauce. I also get some coconut milk whenever I'm at the market.

Got fish?

And some games. They have every kind of carnival game you've ever played and then some. I may have to try and win me a giant stuffed Pikachu one of these days. And there you have it: the night market.

Sweet Sweet Veg

I wasn't kidding about the carrots. Every time I go to a produce stand I feel like I'm in Curse of the Were Rabbit!

Heaven is a Coffee Shop

Meh. A dripping hot Saturday morning and I can't get back to sleep. Wait, I know! I'll go utilize the air conditioning of my current favorite establishment in Tainan! Let me preface this by saying I'm a little ashamed of how much time I've been spending at this coffee shop because there's something decidedly western about coffee shops in general, but I've yet to find a tea shop with nearly as good an atmosphere (indoor seating at tea shops is rare to begin with), so let me indulge for now.
The coffee shop of which I speak is Masa Loft, conveniently located adjacent to the NCKU campus, a short elevator ride above the 7-11. Which 7-11 am I talking about you ask? This one:Masa is on the 3rd floor. It is a big place, but here the view looking straight ahead when you enter:
And here is a view from one of the more comfortable areas. Note the book collection to the right. There are many books (art books, novels, etc, etc) to browse here. There are also many puzzle-toys, CDs, a couple DVDs, and some Masa stamps to play with.
They have their own roaster, which blows my mind as I've never heard of such a concept in coffee vending. When I worked at Jittery Joes one of the first things I learned was that the biggest determining factor of coffee quality is the length of time between roasting and brewing. That is why good coffee shops get beans from a local roaster who roasts in small batches. You are right if you suspect I have a new favorite coffee. ;) [edit: Jake informs me that there are multiple coffee shops in NYC with roasting capability. And also that the principal owner of Masa (pictured below making my coffee) attended college in NYC.]
The coffee menu at Masa is a little different than other operations, and had to be explained to me (yes, in English). If you order "American coffee" or "black coffee" off the menu, you get what I would call an Americano (with one or two shots of espresso respectively). If you want actual coffee, its costs a bit more, but its worth it to see the barista work one of their unique percolators! The varietals on tap were Brazilian (100NT), "Mandarin" (120NT - this one may have been a blend, I should have asked) and Hawaiian (180NT). There was a blend that was only described as Arabica (100NT). I went with the Brazilian, as there was nothing African or Indonesian to choose from. In retrospect I should have tried the Hawaiian or Mandarin as I have no idea where those two fit in the realm of beans.
Here is a shot of my coffee percolating. Resting on top is the wooden paddle used to stir up this glorious soup (the metal thing on bottom is holding a portable butane burner):
And here is the final product. "You don't put cream in good coffee" as an old gentleman always said to me at Jittery Joes when I asked if he wanted room in his cup.The ceramic spoon was a nice touch. I think the real charm of this place is in the attention to detail. Last but not least is a shot of their astounding beer selection. I think I've only had 3 of these beers before. Trappists, Lambics, Belgians, oh my!
Is there a little halo around the row of Chimay blue label, or is that just me ;) I have never seen the blue label in a bar before, only liquor stores. Yum. Speaking of yum the food seems pretty standard coffee shop fare for Taiwan: "thicktoast", waffles, sandwiches. One thing they have that the other coffee shops don't is croissants. I have a feeling I won't see a bagel as quality as this one anywhere else though (Now I'm wondering what bakery it came from. Bagels are almost non-existent in Taiwan). It's smoked salmon/ cream cheese. And continuing their streak of getting the details right, the chopped green stuff if fresh basil. Hell yes for fresh basil!
I will spare you the long list of frozen/fruity/milky drinks they offer as this is Taiwan and selling milk tea is practically mandated by law. My only gripe is that the music selection often leaves something to be desired, so bring your headphones. Though I must say boss lady was DJing this morning and the music was right on: Ella Fitzgerald, Duke Ellington and such. It made for good sippin and Mandarin studying both. Since headphones are always a convenient option, and the music is pretty quiet anyway, I'm going with 5 out of 5 beans. Go Masa! (Until I find the ultimate tea shop anyway...)

Hello Blogosphere!

That's right, this is the New Sky Blog inaugural post! In case you were wondering why you're here, it is because you love me and want to know everything about my new life in Taiwan. Yes, Athens Georgia is far away, but I have a new home now, and I love it already. I am posting in anticipation of the arrival of my digital camera will be the backbone of the blog henceforth. Today, I am working with google image search to try to get my point across. And my point is this: I love carrot lady!

This is the closest I could get to the likeness of the Taiwanese carrot. My roommate John put it best: "you can club a man with one of those carrots". And who is the carrot lady? Well I 'll put up a picture when I get the camera, but the carrot lady sells me ice cold carrot juice when I've been riding my bike around in the sun all day! It costs 35NT which is 1.05USD and consists of (so far as I can surmise):

~2 clubbing carrots, juiced in front of me
1 cup fresh pineapple, juiced in front of me
water and some crushed ice
1 tablespoon mystery syrup

The fruit here, nay the pineapples alone, will have to have an extensive post of their own later. The first time I found the carrot lady I happened to be in the same condition she would come to recognize me in: on a bicycle, sweaty, parched and probably hungry. I looked into her I eyes pleadingly and pointed to the carrots in her display (this is a roadside stand operation). I was praying in my head that I wouldn't have to navigate the score of choices on the chinese menu-sign in front of me. Lo and behold - she recognized the intense carrot juice hunger within. Now we're past pointing, she knows what I come for. The stand is 5 blocks from my apartment so I pay, politely say "xi`e xie", and go enjoy my life potion on the couch (under the fan).